365 versions, 2021

Lets connect! :)

2021… you haven’t even ended and I’m already writing you a closure letter for the whole ride of adventures this year. I could say you have been one of the most challenging years out there, that I’ve had to experience. 

You showed me the happiest and most broken version of myself to me. They both met, and both figured how you can feel at the very top of the mountain one day, thinking you have everything figured out in every aspect of life, and without even noticing, the next you don’t even want to come out of bed for a few couples of hours or unless you need to. 

I can only thank you for being. At one point, I wished for you to be over asap and I never wanted to look at you again.

I should be grateful to myself, and proud, I made it till the end because phewww…

It hasn’t been all bad, but it has been a challenge. 

I can say that in 2021, I fell in love, I got my own heartbroken, fixed my mistakes, took away my pride, removed my social media for a while, graduated high school, began university, lived with a loved one for quite a while, moved to a different country and began to live by myself in a place I never had before, smiled, cried, traveled, began to think what is it I really want for me in life, took steps forward, steps back, felt everything and ALLOWED myself to do it without any guilt, and overall I grew and outgrew my old version of me. And I couldn’t be more proud of the person I’m today. 

I think this year has also been a journey in my spiritual journey, as all of them, but this one, I think, made me evolve in ways in many different aspects on how I listen to, who do I go for advice, and now that I’m putting it into words, I realize it is hard to explain the spiritual journey one goes through or what it teaches you. It is so personal and everyone gets the experiences they have to learn in this world to survive. Each one of us decides how in contact we want to be with this part of the world. But hey, this is something that shapes your reality and how you do, say, think, and hear things. And I can absolutely say mine has had a paradigm shift in almost every way.

I would like to share with you some of the biggest and most valuable lessons 2021 has given to me, at my humble 18 years old experience:

• You never know. That’s it. You never know anything. 
• Someone out there cares for you and loves you. 
• Traveling opens up the perspective you have of the world. 
• Being alone is hard but very necessary.
• Pressure and pain, break the shell to let the butterfly come out. 
• Some people evolve as moths and others come a butterflies. No one can control that, but people.
• Whatever happens, good or bad, it’s for us to learn. Not good or bad, it just is. It happened. Take it. You’ll be so grateful and exited to one day look back and see how far you’ve come. 
• Take risks.
• Stop staying in your comfort zone!!!!!!! Get out of it.
• Don’t minimize what you feel, because others are having a ‘worse’ moment. 
• Get over your trauma. Do it. Stop putting the hard work aside. Do your shadow work. Start today.
• You have an inner child. You can’t let it die. 
• A simple smile, can really create a big change in someone’s day. 
• Don’t be a meanie. Why?
• It’s ok if people don’t understand what you go through.
• The battles you fight in silence, are the ones that make you stronger.
• Berlin is <3<3<3<3<3<3
• You must eat an OG Döner in your life. At least once. Men, those are bombastic.
• There are some things that we must learn to love. 
• Mexico is a mess, but a really fun one lol.
• Start to listen more than what you speak. You can not imagine how much you will learn! Really.
• No one cares. Really. And if they do, it is people with a lot of time to care. 
• It is ok to outgrow friends and relationships. It is natural. We do not evolve at the same rate everyone does. 
• People matter.
• Crying is a sign of life, not of weakness.
• When you do not know what to do, think of: what do you have to loose NOW? Really. What? And if you have something to loose, is it worth it?
• It is ok to make mistakes, and have things you do not understand the why at the moment. You path will show you later.
• Take yourself on dates. 
• Sometimes you just need to sit down and that’s it. Remove the stimulus from your brain. Relax.
• YOU HAVE TIME.STOP STRESSING SO MUCH ABOUT THAT.
• There is no need to know things now or tomorrow. It can wait. 
• Fight for things that are worth fighting for. 
• You do not have to like the things you liked last year or last month. 
• You choose what you do with yourself everyday. How much you nourish your brain and head.
• COVID won’t stop.
• Yes, we all come here by ourselves, and leave by ourselves. It is important to be at ease with your own solo company, but it is non-sense working out so much on you to not share. We come here to learn and share.
• You are not the first person to go through this.
• Things that are for you, find you.
• Whatever you are, you attract. EVERYTHING.
• Everything everything, is spiritual. Think of whatever, and you can find a spiritual connection to it.
• You can’t make everyone happy always.
• Don’t be scared to try.
• We have a purpose here.
• Don’t judge so much.
• Send love and light, even to the ones who have hurt you. Doing this, you heal too.
• Forgive.
• Say you are sorry, when you really are, and you did wrong. Wrong to the other and to you. When it doesn’t feel right.
• Life has many wonders prepared for you, stay with us!
• Love is not supposed to make you feel happy all the time, but it is supposed to make you grow, get uncomfortable sometimes (NOT SEXUALLY THO, THAT IS NO GOOD, LEAVE IF YOU EXPERIENCE THIS), and if no one saw your process, YOU did.
• Be proud of yourself.
• Things always get better.
• You can say no to things.
• Investing time in yourself and your relationships, is the best you can do. School/studies too, don’t get me wrong… but people matter. They do.
• You never know when your last moment in a place or with a person is.
• Life is no place colored in pink, but it is a place with all of the colors in it, which is more special. (well, let me correct, I have some doubts about colors and Poland hahaha just kidding… no pole was insulted in this phrase)
• People don’t know your situations. You are the only person who knows it better than anyone else.
• Read. Read. Read. Read. Reading makes you smart and hot. Do it.
• EXPRESS AND EMBRACE YOURSELF EVERYDAY. DON’T LIVE ON FEAR TO DO THAT.
• Love unconditionally. Don’t hide from love.
• Take time to heal yourself. It is a forever journey, but completely worth it.
• Admit you did wrong when you did. Lower your head sometimes.
• Everyone struggles with something everyday.
• Stay on your feet.
• To win, you must loose.
• Reach out to people you know, and don’t, to help. You’ll feel better with yourself later!
• Eat whatever your body asks you to. In a balance, but your body knows what you need. It is a wise machine you can control (sometimes).
• Having time and making the time is very different.
• You are the only one in charged of saving yourself from you.
• Giving out your time, is golden.

And many more. These are not all of the things I’ve learnt, but they are one of the most important I’ve been left with.

I am never sure how to end these types of letters. It is some sort of yearly letter I do to myself, and to close off the year just right. In a way, it is also a way for me to reflect on who I have become this year. Makes me stop and take a look back on everything that happened, and how I write this as the best version of me I’ll know today. Tomorrow it’ll just keep getting better and better.

I’m grateful for the year it has been, the people that stayed, the people I met, and the people that left. All of the things that happened, Every. Single. Day. Came as a lesson for me today to use.

2022, I hope you come with great lessons too (meaning, something though might happen because without that we can’t grow – don’t be as harsh, please!!! Yes, provide me with challenges, but don’t flip my life over, at least not now please), adventures, people, decisions, choices, laughs, learnings, projects, love, friendships, connections, and more sunlight to every day.

My prayers are for people who lost or got seriously affected by COVID-19 or Omnicron.

These viruses changed our entire lives, and they won’t go away… I just hope we learn to deal better with them this new year coming.

New idea: send me the best or most important things you’ve learnt this year!

Exited to read you out 🙂

Enjoy your family and spend quality time with them if you can.

Biggest blessings for all of you.

Grateful for you to be able to read this today.

Have a merry little Christmas.

I love you.

Sending love and light to you.

Milena.