Well, this is something that has been through my mind these past weeks and I really feel like people need to become, somewhat, more aware of this in their everyday life.
I had this thought before going out on a Friday night… and it’s not because something happened or someone said something to me.
I just sat down for a fat minute, and I really began to think about how many meaningful conversations do I have with the people I care about? Or how many conversations have I left this week, at least, and really got me thinking on whatever we talked about?
Like… is this conversation getting me somewhere?
I will go back home after this meeting and then what?
I got to the conclusion I really don’t have as many meaningful conversations as I’d like to.
And if you are some friend or relative of mine reading thins, don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I don’t like whatever we talk about or I don’t think it’s important.
I just think that conversations should be meant to leave you something. OF COURSE, I also enjoy talking about some dumb-teenager topics or laugh my a** off with friends about the crazy ideas we get sometimes, or just mention which is our favorite ice cream flavor (mine I would say it is cookies and cream, cookie dough, and maybe some really good strawberry one).
Anyway, think about it, how many conversations have you lately had that actually gave you something to think about?
Why do we have made conversations such a secondary situation in our life?
This really makes us lose connections, or at least, creates plateaus in relationships from my perspective.
I don’t think it’s necessary to have meaningful conversations every day and with everyone about everything.
Simply no. Because it would lose the sense it has on being.
But hey, conversations are what create bonds between people.
Ask people what they think about life! What about, if they like spending time alone and why or why not!?
What are some things that go through your mind a lot recently (if there is enough trust obviously to answer back)?
Do you like where you’re being headed in life at the moment?
Tell me about your favorite hobbies.
What do you like to do when nobody is watching?
Or maybe get even more deep sometimes, even controversial if you can!!!!!
GET CONTROVERSIAL!
DON’T BE AFRAID OF IT!
Do you believe in God?
Do you believe there is something out there? I mean, outer space life, or even hidden by-the-government creatures on Earth.
We don’t know more than 2% of the ocean (or something like this) WTF… Why does nobody talk about these things!?
Or look, if you’re not into these topics, humanize more the conversations you have.
I’ve found out, in myself and other two things that I think are pretty upsetting.
We have become such individualistic, without noticing, naturally, because we live less in groups and/or tribes as our ancestors did… and the sense of community can be more challenging to find these days.
Due to this, we ask less to people simple questions as ‘how do you feel?’, ‘how can I support you today?’, ‘how was your day/week?’, ‘I didn’t/did like how this made me fel
We don’t ask this
Listen, it is important to have conversations and thoughts that build up your mindset, and form some sort of intelligence inside those beautiful minds you guys have in your amazing heads.
Brains do so much for us everyday. They just keep you alive as well as whatever mental illness (not making a joke out of this!) you struggle with everyday or any thought that provides yu with some sort of serotonine releaseing.
I honestly have been finding myself very, constantly, not interested in talking about topics that for me are some sort of bs, or non sense topics.
And not because I’m trying to be rude, or say ‘I’m smarter’ – ’cause I’m really not – or just seem some sort of ignorant. I just don’t have anything to say about whatever these people are talking about, I don’t find this constructive, I’m dealing with one-side-minded people who just speak and don’t listen, or I just think its non sense, again.
It has happened to me, that I go out somewhere with friends, and I just sit down in silence for a while. After a while some will tell me ‘why are you so quiet?’, and I’ll just say ‘it’s nothing’.
Because it is, I’m secretly judging all of you... ·.·
LOL Im kidding!!!!!!!!! I’m not actually!
I’m just thinking something else, or i don’t have anything to say.
For me this is normal, but I’ve come to find out that for a lot of people it isn’t necessarily normal.
I don’t find the necesity of speaking all the time or taking part in conversations which I don’t feel like they correspond to me at all, or I just have nothing to comment on the topic you’re talking!
It’s not all about you or something personal. I’m just not saying anything over things I don’t know about or don’t find anything valuable to add to the conversation.
Side note: It's funny because just this week, I was talking with a loved one about this characteristic of me. That I can sit quiet on family reunions or friend gatherings for quite some time. This person was telling me it can show me off as someone who's 'rude' or 'I'm not having a good time' or 'I don't care about what they are talking about'.
*After having this conversation I feel like half of this post is going to be writen in a different perspective, lol, but we'll see where this gets us... just stay here for a minute ok? Follow up with me. I am a serious person, and i have really always been one.
If you know me, you’d say I’m funny, or that I’m not really serious or idk what you thik of me but whatever, hahah, I am to some extent serious, or present myself to be this way.
This can close off people to come to me sometimes, just by looking at how I ‘look’ in this way.
I have to admit, I’ve also never understood quite correctly wtf am I supposed to do then. I mean, sorry for having a serious face (?) look (?)… I can’t just walk around like =D Hi =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D !!!!!!!!!!!
Because no. That’s not me, and I find it ridiculous. wtf. No one is happy all the time or fricking smiling all day. Let me be men. I don’t hate you all, and I’m not pissed, I’m just enjoying myself the way I know, with the face I got. Sorry if that bothers some of you so much.
Maybe, also, this is a perspective people have more of me here in Latin America, rather than in Europe or Poland , at least. Because this comments and situations, are struggles I’ve faced more in Mexico than back there… no one really has commented anything about that to me there.
Maybe people are more joyful in Mexico? I don’t know… the thing is, I don’t think it is necessary to be talking all the time and just be giving out gibberish about things you maybe not even know about or understand.
You have an idea, and feel like it’s the time and place to say it, do so! But don’t just talk for talking… well at least it’s not my thing really.
In conclusion to the first thing we were talking about, it’s that: 1. I find it upsetting people don’t reach out to people to have humanized conversations more often. It’s ‘weird’ or ‘random’ for more of the people, and I think there should be a higher enphasis on people’s conversatons about this.
The other thing that I actually find upsetting, is the fact that we don’t listen.
Why?
This is also one of the reasons I sit in silence. To listen. Not to be rude to you men! I’m actually putting all of my energy and attention to whatever you are saying. So no, it’s not that I don’t care. I’m actually interested.
Please, learn to shut the F up and listen.
You can learn so much from people. SO MUCH.
And it makes no harm to listen to what people have to say.
A while ago now, at the beginning of the pandemic in 2020 (2 years ago almost, wow!), I read a book by Steven R. Covey called The 7 habits of highly effective people, a very good book by the way, where one of the habits was ‘Seek to understand, then to be understood’.
Basically saying, sit and listen what the other person is trying to tell you, and then figure yourself out with that and make yourself understood. But as a second movement!
You see, people have a lot to say, and honestly, the world is missing more people who know how to listen, then people who speak.
I met a friend in a party, back in Warsaw, and we were talking and whatever, when he told me, ‘you know, it feels very nice that you actually listen to me’.
I heard that and I didn’t know what to answer.
I’d like this to be some sort of message for everyone reading this… please realize what not listening makes people seek and feel like they miss out on.
People miss being listened to.
Humans are given five senses, and it seems like we only use four sometimes.
We listen to whatever we want, in fact, we listen to part of everything that surrounds us.
We talk talk talk talk, and no one actually listens.
Fuck men.
I find this so upsetting.
Why do we keep on talking then? If no one really listens or seems to care, why?
Do we hang on some sort of hope that society will change, and we will suddenly be listened to one day?
First of all, i don’t think we should have this types of worries.
We are meant to create synergy between each other and just SIT AND LISTEN WHILE THE OTHER TALKS!
You can say whatever you want, when you FINISH LISTENING TO THE OTHER PERSON SPEAKING.
They showed us this in kindergarten. Why did we loose this?
It’s sad, because it makes us become more separated from each other each time.
And I can prove this, just by what I was saying before, I sit still and quite because I LISTEN. PEOPLE HAVE A LOT TO SAY, AND SOMEONE NEEDS TO HEAR IT.
The fact people feel ‘flattered’ because someone listened to them. Oh boy.
Where have we put ourselves as a society?
I’ll just leave this here to everyone’s own criteria, but I find this just… pfff disappointing on society.
It shouldn’t be some sort of compliment to be listened to. People should be driven to do it naturally! Shouldn’t it?
Why do we have ears for then?
Open up yourselves to listen more, please. Let’s change this.
If for you, it is a compliment to be heard, listen more.
You see, we have many answers to fixing problems that surround us but we are blind to them, or don’t think about them or even on how to fix it.
I’ll leave you a little exercise to try to rpactice your hearing, because wow we need that.
Listen to any song you want, and instead of just focusing on what the artist is singing about, or not, listen to one specific instrument in the back. The one you want or anything, but follow the instrument or instruments instead of the voice.
You’re view for the song will change, trust me!
Now, another topic I wanted to comment on…
Attachments.
We humans, my perspective is, are souls who come to Earth, to complete their karmic lessons, and transcend in consciousness spiritually because that’s what we are.
Spiritus in meat sacks. Crazy huh?
We come as souls. We have nothing that is ours.
Our body maybe, but not even that. We die, and we don’t leave with our body.
And all of us have so much issues with attachments.
I don’t care if you are minimalistic or whatever.
Due to this capitalist society and form of life we have created with rules, money, and power, as priorities, we have to have things in order to survive this regime.
Having the art of detaching from things and/or people… is wonderful.
We tend to attach ourselves to our parents first.
Our mother is the origin of our life. We naturally have some sort of union towards her. And with fathers, everyone has differents perspectives over parents and situations, but he also basically made you so… he has a connection with you too somehow.
Then, with our romantic partners we can create attachments, because they cover up some unhealed trauma, or because they make us feel good when no one else can, or because they bring a sense of company, etc…
You can love them, but that doesn’t mean you have to attach to them.
And don’t tell me you are not attached, most of you, because monogamy is part of attachment. You say, I’m yours, and you are mine.
This is, from my perspective, part of the beauty and sense of relationships (romantic). You give yourself up to a person, while the other does so too.
Anyways, also to material things we attach. We attach our emotions to objects we were give by someone we love, to clothes because we used them on a special day, to memories even, to places we once had a significant moment on, and so on…
We do this to remain human, because consciousness and memory do this. This helps us ground ourselves to where we are now, and were we once were… but have you tried detachment?
Not that you don’t care about anything anymore and you don’t create any attachments to anything anymore, which is what basically detachments sounds like.
what I mean is, work on not letting the things that surround you affect you, and get to understand how nothing i s permanent.
It exists inside you, and unfortunately no one is able to see it, feel it, remember it, anything, like you do.
I takes you back to a place where you can only visit in your memories, and it can bring so much comfort and happiness, or sadness and remorse.
Great. You don’t have to detach feelings from those memories, but not let it affect you.
Appreciate, love, and hug those memories.
Thank life for giving those experiences to you, but understand how things come and go in cycles.
Those memories won’t come back as you remember them, there are more to come, and different to take the core one’s place, maybe.
Life is crazy. You can’t get used to it ever.
We are not meant to hold on to things.
Holding on, doesn’t let us move forward sometimes.
Love and appreciate every moment you got. it won’t come back. As well as people. People come and go. Material things come and go. Life comes and goes.
This is how it is.
Don’t let things come to you and affect you! It is not meant to be like this.
Don’t take any drowning feelings to your next soul’s destination! You’ll build up karma for your next life.
So build your future self you, a great life.
Appreciate.
Thank.
Understand.
Let things flow in the order they are supposed to.
Every win comes with a loss, and a loss is a win too, sometimes.
The universe has everything perfectly planned for you. You do not have to worry about anything.
Trust.
Everything is falling into place.
And if things are crumbling down into pieces, it’s because they are going to reunite themselves differently this time to align your path to where you have to be, or go.
In the now, there are no problems. You create the problems. Your mind makes them up for you. They have nothing to do with you.
If you can do something about things, why worry?
If you can’t do anything for whatever you’re going through, why worry? You can’t do anything. It may be shit, but you can’t. So?
You don’t really own anything, if you see it this way.
Everything on this realm of reality, is being leant to you. Use it as you want. Do whatever you want with it. The world is on creative mode with you.
You can even loose control over things you thought to have control on. So, what makes those things be ‘yours’. You can loose them.
Of course, you can gain them back, but it’s different now.
I may be swirling around many topics now.
Just know, practice detachment.
Look it up if you want to understand it better. Check out instagram pages!!! @sadhguru is a great one! @garyvee too!
You are unique and beautiful.
Embrace yourself and your uniqueness.
There isn’t another you in this world. (In a parallel universe maybe, but not that you are aware of yet).
Attachment is not what we come here, planet Earth, for.
Your soul has so much more to do for you.
Ask someone about themselves, or about their day, and listen.
I love you.
Sending you love and light.
Have a great 2022!
Milena.
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