Being young

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Ah, where to start… being young.

Being young… pffff is… everything before being old, if you let yourself become it.

It’s a state of mind, but in the moment, we’re not focusing on this…

I would like to describe it in different forms.

You do everything, without knowing what you’re actually doing, and then you learn from it.

It’s not really caring or caring too much.

Finding out you have some unresolved issues in your life, and either hiding away from them in different substances, situations, and people, because we are scared of facing them, or going through them and later struggling with some sort of mental or existencial problem.

We get to a point where we want everything fast, live fast, everything fast, quick, easy, non-tiering, non-resting… Fast life. For everything.

This is a time we develop a core base of what will later become our grown up self, and it hits us when we realize that we are starting to deal with real life and it is no joke.

“You think you are inmortal”

Rector of my University, constantly. With all due respect sir!

This phrase is something I’ve been told before by my university rector has said to us a couple of times this year, mostly due to the fact that COVID-19 is hitting harder each time, and we as young people think nothing will happen to us ‘because we are too young to die’.

Too young to die… who said so? What is too young?

I understand not living as long as the ‘normal and healthy or usual lifespan’ in society, is considered not living.

These past months, I’ve learnt that time can mean nothing. The way each one of use decides to take up the time, and how we deal with it, as well as, what we do in it, can determine SO MANY THINGS.

You can either suffer for 5 hours, or have the best time of your life 40 minutes, and the time might feel the same. Have you experienced this?

Time is a concept humans have created in order to create categories and order in our physical, and visible world. It’s non existencial. Everything happens at the same time.

We are built to understand the world like this, because we seek to understand, and find order in things. We don’t work without having order. We don’t know what to do. So we categorize, divide, name, tag, put into groups, etc.

Til we get into our perspective, everything happens within, and nothing is everything, that making it something that is still nothing already.

UGH HOW PHILOSOPHICAL, I’LL SHUT UP AND CONTINUE WITH THE MAIN TOPIC OF THIS POST.

Ok, back to being young.

These are the following ways in which I would describe how being young feels to me:

Lovely, scary, new, constant lessons, teachings, process, experiences, mistakes (losts), undecisiveness, liberty, curiosity, findings, lost, figuring how to have your shit together, fun, energy, complains, questions, doubts, enjoyment, path, creative, unique, beautiful, tragic, complicated, fascinating, love, loss, i dont care mentality, i care too much to say i do mentality too, risks, one-in-a-lifetime experience.

I can’t really think of how to englobe this entire topic by itself. It’s so wide, and everyone goes through different stages when they are young.

Not me talking as if I already had so many years, I'm old and wise now. HAHAH aja. 

‘Oh, you are so young’ is something I’ve been told so many times. What makes me be ‘so young?’ only my age? Age is a thing, I’m aware, and there are certain situations that appropiate for them to happen when achieving a certain age, due to biological and experimental maturity in one (having relationships, a job, getting married, raising a kid, having a house, etc).

But, I can tell, that there are a lot of young people who know or have more interest in different things, than older or more ‘grown-up’ people.

I’ve met people who are absolutely passionate about what they do in life and not even reaching their 20s. And on the other hand, I’ve seen people who have finished university or studies and have no idea on what to do with life. And both are FINE!

It’s fine not to know what to do or where to go. No need to know today, or tomorrow.

As I said, we want to know everything now, and have things figured out now or asap. WHY? Life has everything perfectly aligned, and just in the moment you stop fixating yourself so much into this vicious cycle of thinking, that I’m there too a lot don’t worry (I know you didn’t but whatever) – you’re not alone – you’ll notice that everything you’ve been stressing about, starts to get into place. That’s how it is.

It doesn’t mean it will be a week or a month. It will take the time it needs to take, without accelerating the process, and everything will happen in the perfect moment went it’s supposed to happen.

I’ve seen this many times happen to me, and I find it fascinating. Just by STOPING and STARING, you figure out nothing is happening, everything has an end and is temporary, there i no bigger problem than you, and things slowly start aligning with everything you need in that moment.

“If you don’t know where you are going, any road will take you there.“

Quote in a cafe I visited once.

It can be very hard to understand when you’re not in a position where you can see the light at the end of the tunnel, but if you pass that AWFUL AWFULLLLL STAGE, it gets much more better. Trust me 😉

We want everything fast, cheap, and easy, and dread for slow, steady, and balanced.

Feeling

When young, we feel so much. Everything.

Even if you are the coldest person in the world, being young, means learning and feeling.

And as beings too, we think everything is about us and against us. Because we live in an ego-centered-naturally mindset were we see only our own story from our own thoughts and experiences.

Feeling is so scary for some reason, but it’s also so… ah EVERYTHING. WONDERS.

Having those feelings you are so filled by joy you don’t know how to handle it is one of the purest feelings out there, in my opinion. Everything seems so bright, everything seems in order, wow just happiness spread from you to others. What a gift!

The feeling of going to a big party or concert you’ve been wanting to go for a while = AAAAAAAAAAAAA

Going to see your favorite artist, exposition = AAAAAAAAAAAA

Finishing that book, or movie you love = Pfffffff aaaaaa (now what :l?)

Dancing in the rain when you haven’t done it in a while = jijijiji jajajaja childish you comes out

Singing all out in the car with friends = 11/10

Learning a new skill = awesome. You’re so cool.

We refuse to feel, or block our feeling, because they can be a weapon with two sides.

Feeling an overwhelming amount of sadness, can roll you over to some terrible position mentally, and we fear feeling everything great sometimes, for the though of falling into the other side.

(All of you who are scared to fall in love, I bet it’s because of this).

But even when things feel wonderful, or terrible… just feeling. Whatever. Has some wonder within it. Think about it. You’re FEELING. Having a FEELING. Your emotions are talking to you, and translating themselves to something humanly comprehensive.

Emotions are abstract, and as humans not being able to describe them for what they are, because we don’t know, we use metaphors, and feelings are a for of communication between us and emotions.

Thinking you know everything

I’ve had this moments in my life were I say, I know everything.

Like, I don’t know what else I could learn at this point.

But then, some new experience happens, and you learn and grow again and everything happens again.

This happens because we live off of what we know at the moment.

It’s funny because there is so much we are missing to learn from life, and we feel unstopable, undefeatable, fearless, like we can do anything and overcome every obstacle in the way, ‘immortals’ like my rector would say, and just free spirits evolving.

I think of these types of feelings and they are something that makes being young so unique.

It’s your first moments becoming someone in this planet, and it all comes to you with new opportunities to become whatever, and you just feel like the BIGGEST WHATEVER in the world.

It’s part of youth, and big part of the beauty of this. Best is to embrace it and love it as it is. Because they don’t last forever.

You chose to be young, by how you live your life and what decisions you make to not become old.

But growing, is also such a nice process.

Think of yourself at the beginning of this year. I don’t know about you, but I think about myself and just say pffffff you have no idea what’s waiting for you darling. And everytime it is like this.

We grow, and we are so anxious about it for some reason, and we come to agreements with ourselves and the position we encounter ourselves in at that precise moment in life.

But, personally, I find it funny how everytime we get ‘older’ and ‘older’, we understand we don’t really know as much as we though we did.

We find ourselves to be in situations that make us think we are smaller than what we though we were, and now you have to learn something new and grow it out. Finally leading you to the same process of later thinking you think you know, but it’s just part of growing.

Next time, you’ll have another challenge, and think you know it all, and then you don’t… I think we’ve all been here before.

My youth journey: learnings and perspectives

So for me, being young, up til now, has been so much fun, so many lessons, adventures, people, breakdowns, challenges, friendships, conflicts, going out for adventures, experiencing what’s out there, silence, loudness, a lot.

I think it’s a time in our lives where you actually start to think what you want for yourself in the future. This doesn’t mean you have to figure it out, but it just starts clicking inside the idea of growing up.

I’ve definitely met people 40+ years, but inside they are the youngest souls, and that’s something very wholesome as well. Even though, in my opinion, there is time and place for everything, and coming to be older comes with being wiser and wiser each time.

“When you are young, they assume you know nothing”

Not a fan, but I remember Taylor Swift said this once lol.

And it’s true. I’ve been said this before, and it low-key gets me on my nerves a little.

There is so much magic on being a young crazy human being, but it also can come with a lot of downs and hard moments that you understand better each time, and come to a point where this breaks the shell and you grow.

Obviously it depends how young, but really, when you are young you do know things. Not all of it, even if we feel like the ‘kings of the world’ sometimes, we do know. Because we have lived. A little, but we have.

And I feel like saying this type of phrases, mainly adults, is like diminishing all the experiences you’ve had just because they’ve had a foot on the ground longer than you.

AND IF YOU’RE AN ADULT READING THIS, DON’T COME AT ME SAYING THIS IS DISRESPECTFUL OR WHATEVER.

(really had to put that down sorry)

But yeah… we all have awesome, heart-filling, happy, exiting, cringey and nostalgic, tragic, sad, and heart-breaking memories from our young selves version.

It’s such a time where the ‘I don’t f care about anything’, and ‘I care too much for everything’ mindsets rule us. It’s hard times, but beautiful times.

But I think, you’re life starts hitting you really hard, reality, when the decision you make, you finally notice how they are no joke, and they truly have an impact on where you’ll be standing tomorrow.

People matter. Remember that. They do.

Keep them as close as you can, and understand that outgrowing relationships (either romantic or not) and situations, is natural and that’s how things get to be sometimes.

There is nothing wrong with taking a step back on things you don’t think they are for you anymore.

Fear less of life.

No one really cares about you. It sounds awful, but they don’t. You think all the time about yourself, so you think others will too. They don’t. they are thinking on themselves too. So go and rock that outfit or do whatever. No one cares that much.

Forgiving is an important step and lesson to take in life. Forgive. Take all the time you need to, but do.

We get used to things so fast now… we don’t make time for anything but insignificant and not materialistic things… only focus on what’s happening on the weekend… we don’t want to wait for anything… we feel time passes so slow when on it, but then you look back and everything has happened so fast!

There is so much more life out there than this!

We are young once.

Let’s embrace youth.

Love your young version.

Your future self will be happy you did 🙂

I love you.

Take care.

Milena.