Silence, meditation, space

Lets connect! :)

A big weapon in the world that can be dark or wonderful. It’s up to you.

There is a big sound that comes from the silence we make in our lives.

Whatever it is, being alone at home, going to the bathroom, having that awkward silence when meeting someone new, anything.

You know, I honestly think this is very interesting because being in silence is such a state that can bring us to have discomfort with the position we are having in a moment, or really bring harmony.

In Indian retreats, many people decide to do a voluntary silence vow. Here they bring themselves to be in complete silence with everyone, but their minds.

I’ve heard there are some capsules in which you float in water for an hour with the lights off. And thats it. You just float, and are left alone with your thoughts for an hour. Many have stated this is a very unique experience since you don’t receive any stimulants, no music, just you, water, and the dark.

These may sound out of our reach, but even the silence you have when finishing that meeting or class online is very special, and not a lot of attention i brought into it.

Being in a quiet place, and being in silence is not the same. One is being silent with your outsides, but having the capacity to keep your mind quiet for some minutes, is a complete super power!

When we meditate, we usually keep in silence.

We don’t speak physically, but we let our thoughts speak to us and we open up a space for reflection within ourselves.

Many people have a fear of being in silence, unconsciously, because they are not at peace with their thoughts.

Some while ago, I read a book, it’s only in spanish unfortunately but I highly recommend it if you speak spanish “La Magia del Silencio”. It’s in my recommendations section.

This book is written by a monk, but not really a monk. She does live inside a monastery, or at least did for quite a while, and she explains the impact silence can have in our lives and how silence is even in the loudest places.

Something she talks about too, is how there is different types of silence. AHA. TYPES of silence. How can that be, right?

Having silence in your life, and having comfort in it, talks so much about your mental position of yourself in your thoughts. Being able to do nothing and not feel guilt about it, which many of us tend to have since we live in a society which pressures us to constantly do things all the time, is also a big step on yourself.

Being able to stay comfortable in your own mental silence is:

1. Be able to have control over your thoughts CONSCIOUSLY.

2. Not let any trash thoughts enter and ruin your thinking patterns.

3. You are at peace with yourself, and have no blame or shame over things you did in the past or the coming future.

4. You allow yourself to think and feel. This doesn’t mean is necessarily easy, IT IS NOT, but you heal. Being in silence and allows you to go through all of the aspects of your own being and figure yourself out as well as your traumas, conflicts, repeating patterns, actions, etc.

Types of silence

Well, as I’ve mentioned, there are types of silences.

I won’t get into deep details, because I’d really like it if you can read her book. It’s just a very warming read!

There is visual silence. Inner silence. Outside silence. Speaking silence. Hearing silence. Between others.

We are constantly bombarded by announcements, social media, notifications, mails, spam, and not nurturing information for our growth. All of this, makes our minds go crazy and just cycle through everything we see.

Anytime this week you are in the public transport, walking, or in the car, I encourage you to do the following.

Don’t pay that much attention to the announcements and publicity on the streets. Take a look at the nature surrounding it. The trees, bushes, grass, whatever.

When i started doing this, first, I found it somewhat relaxing, less stressed, and more at peace. Later, it made me realize of how much attention I was putting into unnecessary information.

Do you really really care about that ‘perfect face’ cream announcement with a well known photoshopped model? I mean, I’m not saying don’t look at announcements ever again in your life, because if you want the cream, men, GO FOR IT. No one is stopping you here. I highly encourage you to go buy it.

But you can’t tell me that this is really filling for you. Is it? At the end it is superficial, and your mind will forget about it once you get it. You’ll be happy for some time, but that eventually fades.

Taking a look at the little nature we have left in the streets is really grounding for some reason.

Try it out and you’ll understand what I mean.

There is also inner silence, which takes practice and I don’t know if it can ever be COMPLETELY mastered, but it can definitely be workout out to be better at it.

I’ve always asked myself, how those monks up in the mountains in asian countries can meditate for hour and hours, unbothered.

WOW. It’s not that simple to sit still with yourself for a long time.

I don’t know if you reader have done this, but if you’ve ever tried meditation, even if it was once, you may understand this is no easy work at the beginning.

You sit, and it usually goes like this (at least for me when I was trying to learn):

‘Ok Milena. Here we go. Close your eyes, and think of nothing. Ok well maybe think about a color. White. Ok. White. That’s it… (20 seconds later)… Omg I remember the other day this girl told me she didn’t like my shirt because it was not fitting me well, made me angry to be honest, but her problem, who am I to judge. No no no, back to business… SHIT I forgot to go to get the groceries… this is not working out. Silence HEAD, SILENCE.’

The mind puts us in a position which we can’t be left alone. He gives us something to distract ourselves from the present moment. Let the moment pass, and don’t stop thinking! Think! That’s the point of meditation.

If you get distracted, it’s fine. It is supposed to get you distracted, for you to regain focus on the initial task you were doing. This is the whole point of it. Learn to regain focus, and accept when things go wrong in order to get them right.

You don’t need to meditate everyday for hours or minutes if you don’t want. You should though, but not the way you think.

There is a misconception about meditation only being able to be done while you sit down, in a comfortable position, with your legs crossed, your palms facing upwards resting somewhere in your legs, and preferibly sitting on top of a pillow or something that makes your hips be higher than your feet.

This is an effective form of meditation, and for some it might work. It is usually said to be done like this, since it roots you down, and all of your energy centers are united and centered in you.

BUT. There is also active meditation. ?????????????????????????

Wtf Milena.

Meditation looks different for everyone.

Meditation can be taking a walk in a park, or even to work/school, journaling (if you do so), eating mindfully, dancing, moving your body, sitting down in your bed with no distractors, cooking, looking out the window, whatever helps you get you thoughts into place, and you find comfort in it, that is meditation too.

Being in a crowded place, and embracing your silence, is very respectful too. Bringing calmness and quiet, can really make you stand out for not following a pattern. AKA you’ll become the mysterious girl/guy everyone wants hahahah ;).

Speaking and hearing silence were very curious for me when I first heard about them.

How is speaking silent? How can you hear silence?

Think about this, there is silence in speaking just because without it, you wouldn’t be able to speak. every word you say, has a break of silence. Everything you hear, is a breakthrough of silence.

Music si composed of sounds and the silence behind them.

I’m not quite sure how to explain this better, but I hope you get the idea.

It’s like the phrases that say

There is no light without darkness.

Or

Good moments exist because bad ones exist too.

And it applies for everything. Everything exists, because another exists.

If there was only silence, you wouldn’t know sound, because you wouldn’t know it exists.

And the same way with anything you imagine.

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Living alone

For the past months, I’ve been living in my own.

In my own space.

With no one to talk to physically inside the house.

Many might think it sounds depressing and very lonely, even more when being in a new country where you don’t really have close friends, and even more if I tell you my close people and me have a seven hour difference.

So yes, it does get sort of lonely from time to time… but there is something so so SO peaceful in this.

You know, there were times where I wouldn’t play any music, no videos, no cameras, no nothing. And just stood there or sat down and I was just being.

There were absolutley no sounds. Other than the cars outside, but it was minimal.

Silence.

I’m simply existing in my own space.

And it is a complete process to get to this point.

I’m not necessarily getting into details of how the process might look like because for everyone it’s different.

The thing is, there is a point when you embrace this silence and this peace.

And silence can teach us so much. Having this quiet moments, just lets you figure out how nothing is happening.

Whatever is stressing you out, or you are mad at, it’s within you. You can attach or detach from it whenever you want. But silence is it. The proof of peace. Quiet… no one is bothering.

It is a specific silence sound I can’t describe but I’m sure most of you have heard or experienced.

If you’ve ever been home-alone, you know what I mean, but if not, just imagine an empty house, and you walk inside, by yourself.

It’s this silence sound. I can’t accurately describe it… but for me it is a sound of peace. Stillness. Quiet. You and you.

This, as mentioned many times before, is achieved when you are comfortable around your presence.

If you feel you can’t experience this comfortably ordon’t like being by yourself, it is normal too, and a lot of people don’t like it… but ask yourself why?

Why aren’t you comfortable around you?

I’m not saying I’m lonely, or that you have to drive away everyone to be ‘comfortable’. No.

Do this whenever you have time, feel like doing it, and would like to figure out how it feels.

It is taking yourself on a journey with you, and there is a very special magic within this, that brings out a big magic spark out of you.

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Loneliness

Being alone and feeling lonely is not the same.

I’ve been a person, throughout my life, who generally likes spending time by myself. Doing things by myself. Studying by myself. Cooking by myself. Everything (mostly) by myself.

I was told a lot of times in my life the following:

“Loneliness is all right, when you choose it”

Family members <3

I didn’t quite understand it and just let it pass me by.

I mean yeah ok, being alone might not be cool if you don’t want it… I used to think, until I lived it too.

This year, I can say, I got to feel for one of the first times in my life, alone.

Completely.

I was in a place where my family was too, but I had no one to really rely on or approach to, in my reach and mind understanding – if this makes sense.

I had had experiences before where, you know, in high school or middle school, you changed schools and knew nobody and was left alone at the beginning, or when you had that discussion with your friends, and your friends weren’t your friends anymore… all of these situations, make you feel lonely, but at the same time you have people at your reach, which understand you and know you in that way… (you understand or am I just talking bs? hahah ok).

But coming to a position where you feel no one really understands you, and you have no one really at reach or to talk, or do things with. This hit me damn hard in the face and I came to understand the other side of being alone.

I came to feel lonely and alone!

But you know, you grow out of it. It comes to a point, where life teaches you, no one is saving you dear!

It’s your turn to turn your tables and evolve.

Here, now, and on your own as you can.

No superheroes included in your package. It’s you who has to fix your shit now. Do it.

Oh my. If I tell you it’s one of the biggest lessons, hardest, and most beautiful I’ve had yet, would you believe me?

The fact of overcoming things that hurt your back for a while, and finally learning how to take it off… is such a … pfff I don’t even know the word…

I would say, it is a complete relief when you do. Shit comes, because beauty comes.

You can not just have an amazing time, without struggling.

And there is something so magical, I’d say, when you come to the point of being comfortable in your own space with yourself.

Just unbothered…

Because, in a way, after that, you dealt already with your demons and worse phases of your own mind, along with the most beautiful.

Basically, makes you undefeatable in the future.

And also, something I experienced which personally I find very interesting, is FEELING growth.

It’s weird, but you can FEEL your growth when you give yourself this space.

It’s not the same as when you look at how you were one year ago, or things like this. You look at yourself in the mirror, in a phone call with a friend, in your conversations, in your body language, the words you use… you stand and just say damn. I changed. I grew. This wasn’t me a couple of weeks ago… and it is one of the most filling and motivating feelings I’ve found out there, inside myself.

We have the power to completely change the way we want to. The capacity to LITERALLY mold our brains and actions as we want to.

I find this amazing, to be honest.

I came clear that, that silence can be so dreadful and you can hate it sometimes, but it is SO necessary for you to get to proper agreements with yourself, the rest of your surroundings, and the people around you.

You come to shine differently, and it’s so wonderful when you come to see the light at the end of the tunnel again.

Just one quick message... whoever you are, you might not know me, or even trust me... but this website is YOUR SAFE SPACE ON THE INTERNET. 
If you are going through anything like this, where you feel very lonely, I'm always here to hear you out and help with what I can. 
This moments are hard to go through and understand in the moment.
Been there, done that.
If you need help, you can always send a message through the website dear <3
This is your safe space!

I love you!

Take care!

Merry Christmas (almost!)

My blessings are being sent all the way to you.

I send you love and light.

Milena.